Hoodie-Hoo Day

Nathan Langley, Guest Contributor Editor Mrs. G.

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The Best Holiday To Ever Occur on the Face of the Earth

 

On February 20, 2017, 90% of the world’s population will honor the
Northern-Hemispherical Holiday of Hoodie-Hoo Day. At exactly noon of that day, 6.7 billion (Yes, I did the math) people north of the equator will dash outside their homes, offices, hotels, you name it, in order to celebrate this astronomical holiday. Now you may live under a rock and have no clue what Hoodie-Hoo Day is, which may only be one in a billion people. Well, Hoodie-Hoo Day is the day for all people, no matter what beliefs you have, what color skin, what
borders you live under, Hoodie-Hoo Day is your mixture of Christmas, Superbowl, and Fourth of July. The adrenaline that comes in those brief seconds pumps into your blood to last you until the next year. Each step you will take hitting the ground, running outside, running to freedom, running for your escape…from what, though? Escaping from the pressures of everyday life and the pressures that come after the holiday-season blowouts and the stress your family may bring on themselves about the gifts they did or didn’t receive. Hoodie-Hoo Day is for all, and during these turbulent times, we need it more than ever.

Not many holidays can say they were created by a website. Well, that is the case for this Northern-Hemispherical treasure. Created by the website Wellcat.com, the holiday is a day to chase the winter-woes away and usher in the spring season. Another unique part of the holiday is that February is pretty far from spring, so it is always certainly bone-chilling when you go outside. If you live in Illinois and celebrate the holiday, then expect to shovel nine feet of snow in -50° weather. What’s great about Hoodie-Hoo Day is that it can make people forget about all that nonsense and have them focus on what’s really important. The day is meant for unity and calling for a “rebirth” of humanity-much like spring is the season when everything comes back alive from the plague of winter. In the angst of it all, it allows for us humans to come together during a time of bitter hatred for one another and say, “Forget it, let’s celebrate Hoodie-Hoo Day!” A sense of peace fills the Northern-Hemisphere of Earth with a pleasant glow that illuminates the skies over major cities like Paris, New York, London, Tokyo, and most of all,
Rockford, IL. What other holidays lack in suave, sophistication, and out-right huge celebrations, Hoodie-Hoo Day picks those up and runs from one end of the Northern-Hemisphere to the other.

All gathering for Hoodie-Hoo Day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Now at this point if you’re the one in a billion still asking, well what do you really do on Hoodie-Hoo Day, let the holiday speak for itself. Hoodie-Day is defined by the act of running outside on February 20, every year, and screaming for all of the Northern-Hemisphere to say, “Did you hear that?” The screaming represents the yelling for winter to leave our kind lands and to welcome Father Spring in with open arms. With the warm embrace of spring comes the fruits
of delicious warm weather and the inching towards summer. You can ask most anyone and they can give you a list of millions of reasons to hate winter, but if you ask them about spring, you can probably only get a dozen or so. The shedding of the winter coat on Hoodie-Hoo Day is a marvelous task upon oneself. In your head you say, “You know what, maybe it can actually be warm in February.” Then the breezes of old man winter dash into you while on your way back in from honoring Hoodie-Hoo Day and you remember how it has been for the past million years, but who knows, Hoodie-Hoo Day is always full of surprises.

To recap. Yes, Hoodie-Hoo Day is THE best holiday to ever exist and will ever exist. You can take your Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, or Thanksgiving, but us Northern-Hemispherians will take our Hoodie-Hoo Day over the schmucks any given day. Hoodie-Hoo Day singles no one out and all you have to do to participate is live above the equator and set your clock for noon (local time). You will also need a voice for all people to hear and be ready to utter those memorable words, Hoodie-Hoo! For every day should be a Hoodie-Hoo Day. Imagine if we all could put our energy together to speak these precious words and say goodbye to something everyone can say they distaste – winter. Hoodie-Hoo Day never realized its potential to bring people together, but in times like these when everyone tells you to pick a side, it is nice to know we can all celebrate Hoodie-Hoo Day with no regrets and put a pep in our step.

So, chase your winter woes away!

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